I just returned from a 3 day trip to Newport, Rhode Island with my mom and sort of my Dad. We went there to see my older brother graduate from the Navy Officer Supply School. It's his second time graduating from Newport, the first time was about 4 years ago when he graduated from Officer Candidate School.
Newport is always nice because my Aunty lives out there, who I rarely see because she lives in Rhode Island, which is pretty far from Minnesota. Plus Newport is very different from Minnesota. It's very East Coast.
Don't get me wrong. Everyone is very nice (unless they're driving). Newport is definitely a small, touristy town with a lot of quaint charm and history oozing from every cobblestone. But people there don't wear jeans. I don't know why that bothers me so much. Maybe khaki shorts dry faster than denim while they're sailing.
I think it's just how obviously upper-crust the whole town is. There are some not as wealthy looking areas, but they're all in Middletown, not Newport. To me, it comes off as they're too well-off to wear jeans for every day use. I'm sure that's not the intention, of course, but that's how it rubs me. To me, jeans are getting dressed enough to be presentable in public. I would happily wear yoga pants or board shorts outside if I could get away with it. In Newport, I don't even feel like I could get away with jeans.
I had a great time, though. One exception: There was a terrible storm here in Minnesota while we were gone, and I missed it! Trees down, power out, flash flooding, the works! And I had 75 and sunny weather. How boring!
Now I start my 3 day staycation. I'm going to clean and relax and not go to work and I'm going to enjoy every minute!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Relearning how to drive
Last time I drove, I was 17 and it was 2006 and it was terrible and I never wanted to drive again!
But now I figure I should finally just suck it up and get my license. I'm 24, almost 25. I don't benefit from not having a license. I wouldn't have to drive just because I have my license, but I'd be able to if I needed to.
So, I signed up for driving school. It's a little expensive, but I'd rather be trained by someone who knows how to train me to pass the test, and who also has a brake on his side of the car.
It was my first lesson today.
My first teacher is Mohammed. I was definitely not ready to drive, but I did. He made me. And he made me go on the freeway. "Are you serious???" I said. "On the freeway?!"
"Yeah, of course," He said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. I did it. I was nervous as hell, but I surprised myself at how comfortable I was.
Last time I took Behind the Wheel, I could not make myself go faster than 45mph, even though it was extremely unsafe to go so slow. I felt much more comfortable this time, but that may be because I was in a small Kia sedan and not a giant Chevy SUV.
I felt more comfortable at everything. I was very surprised at myself. Mohammed only had to use his brake a couple times. I am still not very experienced in knowing how much to push down the brake and accelerator. I either push too hard or too soft. I'm sure that'll get easier with time.
I take my test in a week and a half! Crazy!
But now I figure I should finally just suck it up and get my license. I'm 24, almost 25. I don't benefit from not having a license. I wouldn't have to drive just because I have my license, but I'd be able to if I needed to.
So, I signed up for driving school. It's a little expensive, but I'd rather be trained by someone who knows how to train me to pass the test, and who also has a brake on his side of the car.
It was my first lesson today.
My first teacher is Mohammed. I was definitely not ready to drive, but I did. He made me. And he made me go on the freeway. "Are you serious???" I said. "On the freeway?!"
"Yeah, of course," He said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. I did it. I was nervous as hell, but I surprised myself at how comfortable I was.
Last time I took Behind the Wheel, I could not make myself go faster than 45mph, even though it was extremely unsafe to go so slow. I felt much more comfortable this time, but that may be because I was in a small Kia sedan and not a giant Chevy SUV.
I felt more comfortable at everything. I was very surprised at myself. Mohammed only had to use his brake a couple times. I am still not very experienced in knowing how much to push down the brake and accelerator. I either push too hard or too soft. I'm sure that'll get easier with time.
I take my test in a week and a half! Crazy!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
On Cloud Nine
It's still sinking in. From that rally in Iowa a few years ago when they won the freedom to marry to today, when it happened in my own home, I can't believe it's real.
I knew we could do it. I am still so surprised though.
Minnesota LGBTQ couples can get married to the person they love.
I am so fortunate to be Minnesotan. If I were in most other states, I could be evicted and fired because of who I am and it would be totally legal. Here, I have the right to work, and live, and love as I need to without fear of repercussion. My future is just as valid as any other person's future.
Before today, it wasn't, and I'm having trouble understanding the endless possibilities that just opened up. I won't have to adopt my own children. I won't have to get permission from my future spouses family to visit them in the hospital. This is almost unreal to me.
On the other hand, there is still a lot of work to do. Other states are terrible to their LGBTQ citizens. I will still have to be careful about who I am me around (some people wouldn't like it if I were myself around them). There is still an uphill battle for bisexual, transgender, queer, etc. people who may not want a traditional monogamous cisgender marriage, but who deserve to have a dignified and respected life based on who they are. Queers outside of the mainstream, like myself, are not who were represented in the campaign for same-sex marriage.
When telling my story to people, I usually kept it vague and used examples from my friends. Someone who is thinking of becoming a supporter wants to hear about Mitchell and Cameron from Modern Family instead of the bisexual genderqueer person who thinks marriage is a patriarchal institution that limits people into distinct gender roles unnecessarily. I definitely want a committed long term relationship, and I will probably get legally married, but I will never be a "wife" or "mother." I will be a partner and a parent.
Queer activism goes beyond having what the straight people have. It's about being accepted and affirmed as a queer person, and not someone who is "just like you, only gay." It's opening up a whole spectrum of identity and opportunity for everyone, including straight cisgender people. My success measure is having people understand what I mean when I say "My preferred pronouns are Ze and Hir," and not having people get angry with me for asking that they acknowledge that I am not a cisgender person.
Even though it is not by any means the end all of LGBTQ activism in Minnesota, this is a huge milestone, and I am really proud of my state. I have cried about 6 times in the past week just from pure excitement and happiness. This is real.
I knew we could do it. I am still so surprised though.
Minnesota LGBTQ couples can get married to the person they love.
I am so fortunate to be Minnesotan. If I were in most other states, I could be evicted and fired because of who I am and it would be totally legal. Here, I have the right to work, and live, and love as I need to without fear of repercussion. My future is just as valid as any other person's future.
Before today, it wasn't, and I'm having trouble understanding the endless possibilities that just opened up. I won't have to adopt my own children. I won't have to get permission from my future spouses family to visit them in the hospital. This is almost unreal to me.
On the other hand, there is still a lot of work to do. Other states are terrible to their LGBTQ citizens. I will still have to be careful about who I am me around (some people wouldn't like it if I were myself around them). There is still an uphill battle for bisexual, transgender, queer, etc. people who may not want a traditional monogamous cisgender marriage, but who deserve to have a dignified and respected life based on who they are. Queers outside of the mainstream, like myself, are not who were represented in the campaign for same-sex marriage.
When telling my story to people, I usually kept it vague and used examples from my friends. Someone who is thinking of becoming a supporter wants to hear about Mitchell and Cameron from Modern Family instead of the bisexual genderqueer person who thinks marriage is a patriarchal institution that limits people into distinct gender roles unnecessarily. I definitely want a committed long term relationship, and I will probably get legally married, but I will never be a "wife" or "mother." I will be a partner and a parent.
Queer activism goes beyond having what the straight people have. It's about being accepted and affirmed as a queer person, and not someone who is "just like you, only gay." It's opening up a whole spectrum of identity and opportunity for everyone, including straight cisgender people. My success measure is having people understand what I mean when I say "My preferred pronouns are Ze and Hir," and not having people get angry with me for asking that they acknowledge that I am not a cisgender person.
Even though it is not by any means the end all of LGBTQ activism in Minnesota, this is a huge milestone, and I am really proud of my state. I have cried about 6 times in the past week just from pure excitement and happiness. This is real.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Rode my bike!
I rode my bike to work twice this week (3 times tomorrow!). I really like it. I don't have to wait for a bus to come by. I get some exercise in. I get to enjoy a nice, safe path along the river. And my new bike is so awesome, I don't even have any trouble getting up the giant hill at the end! On my old bike, I definitely would have walked it.
And I haven't gotten very sweaty yet, but it's been rather chilly. And here I went to Thrifty Outfitters and got some wicking/quick dry shirts (not sure expensive because they were "samples" sent to the store. All size medium!), and I don't sweat that much. Or maybe I'm not sweaty because of the shirts?
All the same, this bike is a million times easier to peddle than the old bike. I'll have to take it on a really long ride to see how it goes. Maybe I'll bike to Roseville or something.
And I haven't gotten very sweaty yet, but it's been rather chilly. And here I went to Thrifty Outfitters and got some wicking/quick dry shirts (not sure expensive because they were "samples" sent to the store. All size medium!), and I don't sweat that much. Or maybe I'm not sweaty because of the shirts?
All the same, this bike is a million times easier to peddle than the old bike. I'll have to take it on a really long ride to see how it goes. Maybe I'll bike to Roseville or something.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
I want to ride my bicycle!
I had part of the day off today. After a quick meal and a quick nap, I went to go get my hair cut (results: super cute, but not what I asked for. She was really nice, but I hate when hairstylists think what will look better is more important than what I want).
After that, I headed along Lake Street to check out a few different places to buy a bike. I am finally giving up on my old school Magna that I bought at Target in middle school. Only 2 of the gears work, and it's rusty and heavy and impossible to bike uphill. Literally, impossible. Even slight inclines I usually end up getting off and pushing it up most of the way.
So, I ended up at the Hub Bike Co-op (after a few different stops where everyone was really nice but the bike selections were a little out of my price range). It's a cooperatively owned chain of shops in Minneapolis (there's one right by my house, but I went to one farther away that has a larger used and clearance selection).
They were just a friendly as everyone else at the other bike shops, but they actually asked questions and showed me what bikes they had that were what I was looking for. Another bike shop had just sent me to the creepy basement by myself to look at what bikes were in the graveyard. Probably awesome if I had any idea what I was looking for, but this is my first time buying a bike since I was 13 and I just cared that it was purple. The guys at the Hub were very friendly and helpful and took the time to make sure I was happy. They even answered questions about the bikes with more detail than I knew was knowable.
It's like that circle of knowing that I vaguely remember from school. Inside the circle is what you know, and outside the circle is what you don't know. The circumference of the circle is what you know you don't know, basically. The more you learn, the more you know how much you don't know. So, I learned a little bit about bikes tonight, so the area of my knowledge circle grew bigger, but since the circumference (what I know I don't know) grows with what I do know, I know I don't know a lot about bikes. But I also know more about what I could know about bikes.
Anywho, they're getting my new comfortabler seat and rack put on tonight, and then it'll be mine to take home. Should I name it? It's a Giant brand, and it's black. It'll have a rack on the back, and a basket on the front. I might put the fenders on there too from my old bike. I'll think about a name.
This is going to be a breeze compared to my old bike. I would dread riding it. Even used rental bikes were a dream to ride in comparison. I'm excited.
After that, I headed along Lake Street to check out a few different places to buy a bike. I am finally giving up on my old school Magna that I bought at Target in middle school. Only 2 of the gears work, and it's rusty and heavy and impossible to bike uphill. Literally, impossible. Even slight inclines I usually end up getting off and pushing it up most of the way.
So, I ended up at the Hub Bike Co-op (after a few different stops where everyone was really nice but the bike selections were a little out of my price range). It's a cooperatively owned chain of shops in Minneapolis (there's one right by my house, but I went to one farther away that has a larger used and clearance selection).
They were just a friendly as everyone else at the other bike shops, but they actually asked questions and showed me what bikes they had that were what I was looking for. Another bike shop had just sent me to the creepy basement by myself to look at what bikes were in the graveyard. Probably awesome if I had any idea what I was looking for, but this is my first time buying a bike since I was 13 and I just cared that it was purple. The guys at the Hub were very friendly and helpful and took the time to make sure I was happy. They even answered questions about the bikes with more detail than I knew was knowable.
It's like that circle of knowing that I vaguely remember from school. Inside the circle is what you know, and outside the circle is what you don't know. The circumference of the circle is what you know you don't know, basically. The more you learn, the more you know how much you don't know. So, I learned a little bit about bikes tonight, so the area of my knowledge circle grew bigger, but since the circumference (what I know I don't know) grows with what I do know, I know I don't know a lot about bikes. But I also know more about what I could know about bikes.
Anywho, they're getting my new comfortabler seat and rack put on tonight, and then it'll be mine to take home. Should I name it? It's a Giant brand, and it's black. It'll have a rack on the back, and a basket on the front. I might put the fenders on there too from my old bike. I'll think about a name.
This is going to be a breeze compared to my old bike. I would dread riding it. Even used rental bikes were a dream to ride in comparison. I'm excited.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Strange Dream
I had a weird dream the other night.
I dreamt that I got myself pregnant.
Not like a Virgin Mary miracle pregnant. Or an Ambien-induced accidentally-slept-with-the-neighbor pregnant. Much stranger than those.
My left ovary was actually an undescended testicle, and had been undetected for my whole life until I went to the doctor with pregnancy symptoms. Anyway, I got myself pregnant through some miracle of intersex science.
I remember thinking "How am I going to raise a baby on my own, and even without child support?" but decided to keep it because how many people in the world can get themselves pregnant? At the very least I could get my own TLC show.
But then I started getting used. The media was harassing me. Scientists were exploiting me. Crazy Evangelists started threatening me because I was allegedly carrying the Anti-Christ.
So, I got myself a lawyer, and then I woke up!
I dreamt that I got myself pregnant.
Not like a Virgin Mary miracle pregnant. Or an Ambien-induced accidentally-slept-with-the-neighbor pregnant. Much stranger than those.
My left ovary was actually an undescended testicle, and had been undetected for my whole life until I went to the doctor with pregnancy symptoms. Anyway, I got myself pregnant through some miracle of intersex science.
I remember thinking "How am I going to raise a baby on my own, and even without child support?" but decided to keep it because how many people in the world can get themselves pregnant? At the very least I could get my own TLC show.
But then I started getting used. The media was harassing me. Scientists were exploiting me. Crazy Evangelists started threatening me because I was allegedly carrying the Anti-Christ.
So, I got myself a lawyer, and then I woke up!
Monday, April 22, 2013
The Dentist
Remind me to change dentists.
I scheduled a cleaning/exam a couple months ago at the dentist I had been to once before.
Apparently, even though I repeatedly told the scheduler that I had been there before, she only scheduled me for a new patient exam, which does not include the cleaning.
I was not aware that she scheduled me for only an exam.
So I got there early (about 3:55 for my 4:10 appointment), and they greeted me really nicely, etc. Went back there, and the dental assistant kept looking at me funny. I never did figure out why, but I imagine it is because she is new. She never said she was new, but I eventually figured it out because of how the other assistants helped her.
They apparently lost all the x-rays I took last time, because they insisted I take all 10+ xrays again, even though I was there only 9 months ago for my first "new patient exam." This is when I discovered I wasn't going to get my teeth cleaned. I also happened to overhear them saying they should take the xrays again anyway because I had private insurance.
Seriously? Do people with private insurance get different treatment than others? Also, they had no record of my medical history, which I gave them last time. And is it so hard to clean someone's teeth? That's all I went there to do! I didn't even care about the exam so much.
Anyway, after all this, the new assistant slowly takes the xrays (if I get charged for them, I'm definitely going to complain!), in the meantime cutting my gums because of how uncomfortable the bites are.
I learned a lot about my mouth today. Apparently, I have tori, which is extra jaw growth on my lower jaw. Totally normal, and nothing to worry about unless I need dentures. Or if I am getting xrays taken, in which case I am going to bleed and it's going to be painful.
Seriously, it was painful. I cried. I have a really high pain tolerance, and I cried. Maybe it was the surprise, or maybe it was because it was on my face? I feel like when I hurt my face, my eyes water uncontrollably.
After this, I waited patiently for the dentist to do the exam. Really patiently. The assistant left to go get her at least twice.
She was very awkward in a way where she was trying to be nice and professional, but she just came off as stiff. I suppose my mood at this point didn't help. She did teach me some interesting things about my mouth. In addition to having tori, I have a low muscle that connects my upper lip to my gums. This will also be a problem if I ever need dentures. I still have a crossbite from before I had braces. My teeth are crowded on the right side. I have an enamel pearl on my molar. I have general calcification, which means I should have had a lot of cavities, but my teeth calcified before they could fully form. Luckily, the calcification is hard enough where it shouldn't be a problem. I also have snowcapped molars, from the calcification.
Also, I need to floss more. "Do more homecare." Story of my life.
Aside from getting my teeth cleaned on June 5th, (Seriously, a month and a half from now?) I will not be going back to this dentist. Plus I was there until 5:25. How was I there for an hour and a half when all I did was get a dinky exam?
I miss my Northfield dentist. And doctor, for that matter. They were all so pleasant and lovely to be around and helpful.
I scheduled a cleaning/exam a couple months ago at the dentist I had been to once before.
Apparently, even though I repeatedly told the scheduler that I had been there before, she only scheduled me for a new patient exam, which does not include the cleaning.
I was not aware that she scheduled me for only an exam.
So I got there early (about 3:55 for my 4:10 appointment), and they greeted me really nicely, etc. Went back there, and the dental assistant kept looking at me funny. I never did figure out why, but I imagine it is because she is new. She never said she was new, but I eventually figured it out because of how the other assistants helped her.
They apparently lost all the x-rays I took last time, because they insisted I take all 10+ xrays again, even though I was there only 9 months ago for my first "new patient exam." This is when I discovered I wasn't going to get my teeth cleaned. I also happened to overhear them saying they should take the xrays again anyway because I had private insurance.
Seriously? Do people with private insurance get different treatment than others? Also, they had no record of my medical history, which I gave them last time. And is it so hard to clean someone's teeth? That's all I went there to do! I didn't even care about the exam so much.
Anyway, after all this, the new assistant slowly takes the xrays (if I get charged for them, I'm definitely going to complain!), in the meantime cutting my gums because of how uncomfortable the bites are.
I learned a lot about my mouth today. Apparently, I have tori, which is extra jaw growth on my lower jaw. Totally normal, and nothing to worry about unless I need dentures. Or if I am getting xrays taken, in which case I am going to bleed and it's going to be painful.
Seriously, it was painful. I cried. I have a really high pain tolerance, and I cried. Maybe it was the surprise, or maybe it was because it was on my face? I feel like when I hurt my face, my eyes water uncontrollably.
After this, I waited patiently for the dentist to do the exam. Really patiently. The assistant left to go get her at least twice.
She was very awkward in a way where she was trying to be nice and professional, but she just came off as stiff. I suppose my mood at this point didn't help. She did teach me some interesting things about my mouth. In addition to having tori, I have a low muscle that connects my upper lip to my gums. This will also be a problem if I ever need dentures. I still have a crossbite from before I had braces. My teeth are crowded on the right side. I have an enamel pearl on my molar. I have general calcification, which means I should have had a lot of cavities, but my teeth calcified before they could fully form. Luckily, the calcification is hard enough where it shouldn't be a problem. I also have snowcapped molars, from the calcification.
Also, I need to floss more. "Do more homecare." Story of my life.
Aside from getting my teeth cleaned on June 5th, (Seriously, a month and a half from now?) I will not be going back to this dentist. Plus I was there until 5:25. How was I there for an hour and a half when all I did was get a dinky exam?
I miss my Northfield dentist. And doctor, for that matter. They were all so pleasant and lovely to be around and helpful.
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