Sunday, April 28, 2013

Strange Dream

I had a weird dream the other night.

I dreamt that I got myself pregnant.

Not like a Virgin Mary miracle pregnant. Or an Ambien-induced accidentally-slept-with-the-neighbor pregnant. Much stranger than those.

My left ovary was actually an undescended testicle, and had been undetected for my whole life until I went to the doctor with pregnancy symptoms. Anyway, I got myself pregnant through some miracle of intersex science.

I remember thinking "How am I going to raise a baby on my own, and even without child support?" but decided to keep it because how many people in the world can get themselves pregnant? At the very least I could get my own TLC show.

But then I started getting used. The media was harassing me. Scientists were exploiting me. Crazy Evangelists started threatening me because I was allegedly carrying the Anti-Christ.

So, I got myself a lawyer, and then I woke up!

Monday, April 22, 2013

The Dentist

Remind me to change dentists.

I scheduled a cleaning/exam a couple months ago at the dentist I had been to once before.

Apparently, even though I repeatedly told the scheduler that I had been there before, she only scheduled me for a new patient exam, which does not include the cleaning.

I was not aware that she scheduled me for only an exam.

So I got there early (about 3:55 for my 4:10 appointment), and they greeted me really nicely, etc. Went back there, and the dental assistant kept looking at me funny. I never did figure out why, but I imagine it is because she is new. She never said she was new, but I eventually figured it out because of how the other assistants helped her.

They apparently lost all the x-rays I took last time, because they insisted I take all 10+ xrays again, even though I was there only 9 months ago for my first "new patient exam." This is when I discovered I wasn't going to get my teeth cleaned. I also happened to overhear them saying they should take the xrays again anyway because I had private insurance.

Seriously? Do people with private insurance get different treatment than others? Also, they had no record of my medical history, which I gave them last time. And is it so hard to clean someone's teeth? That's all I went there to do! I didn't even care about the exam so much.

Anyway, after all this, the new assistant slowly takes the xrays (if I get charged for them, I'm definitely going to complain!), in the meantime cutting my gums because of how uncomfortable the bites are.

I learned a lot about my mouth today. Apparently,  I have tori, which is extra jaw growth on my lower jaw. Totally normal, and nothing to worry about unless I need dentures. Or if I am getting xrays taken, in which case I am going to bleed and it's going to be painful.

Seriously, it was painful. I cried. I have a really high pain tolerance, and I cried. Maybe it was the surprise, or maybe it was because it was on my face? I feel like when I hurt my face, my eyes water uncontrollably.

After this, I waited patiently for the dentist to do the exam. Really patiently. The assistant left to go get her at least twice.

She was very awkward in a way where she was trying to be nice and professional, but she just came off as stiff. I suppose my mood at this point didn't help. She did teach me some interesting things about my mouth. In addition to having tori, I have a low muscle that connects my upper lip to my gums. This will also be a problem if I ever need dentures. I still have a crossbite from before I had braces. My teeth are crowded on the right side. I have an enamel pearl on my molar. I have general calcification, which means I should have had a lot of cavities, but my teeth calcified before they could fully form. Luckily, the calcification is hard enough where it shouldn't be a problem. I also have snowcapped molars, from the calcification.

Also, I need to floss more. "Do more homecare." Story of my life.

Aside from getting my teeth cleaned on June 5th, (Seriously, a month and a half from now?) I will not be going back to this dentist. Plus I was there until 5:25. How was I there for an hour and a half when all I did was get a dinky exam?

I miss my Northfield dentist. And doctor, for that matter. They were all so pleasant and lovely to be around and helpful.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

When Cats Ain't All That

Don't get me wrong, I love my cat. She's adorable and sassy. (Get it? Like Sassy from Homeward Bound?)

But then there are times when she eats yet another rubber band that you were 100% sure you put in the junk drawer, and chews a hole in the plastic garbage bag.

And then throws them up on the towel you just washed!

Why would she eat those in the first place? This cat is going to end up in the vet one day just because she eats random stuff.

Like bra straps. At least the rubber band was free.

Sunday, April 7, 2013


I fell asleep last night at 9:30 on the couch. I woke up at 5:30 am, and slept more until 8:30.

Then, I thought to myself "I'l have the whole day ahead of me to do everything! No way I can go back to sleep after this!"

Well, a tasty breakfast later and some Sunday morning internet browsing later, I took a nap from 11:30-3:30.

At this point, I actually left the house to go get groceries and make dinner and everything.

"Wow, I am going to get so much done today. I won't be able to sleep a wink! I'll have so much energy, I'll probably end up cleaning all night."

Nope. I'm tired enough to sleep already, and it's not even 11pm.

It's amazing how tired one can be when the only thing one has to do is clean.

This couch is amazing.