Chuck Norris doesn't get old...

He roundhouse kicks time in the face!

I just read "Black Belt Patriotism" by Chuck Norris.

I was pleasantly surprised! It was a really decent book. While his sources, for the most part, are not exactly dependable, and his opinions far from supported by the general population, his writing, overall, is very clear and persuasive. I was even agreeing with his extremely capitalist viewpoints. But I'm the polar opposite of an economics expert, so I have no idea what works and what doesn't. He could be right, he could be wrong.

Black Belt Patriotism is Chuck Norris' critique of today's America, particularly "what is destroying our country" as well as the solutions he believes would fix the problems. Basically, we Americans are enslaved by greed, overrun by illegal immigrants, immoral godless drones, murdering apathetic obese liberals who have lost our roots.

While I obviously didn't agree with most of what he said (I am part of the problem, in his opinion, being liberal, queer, atheist, pro-choice and of the "transgender sexuality"), I agree with a few of his main points.

While I agree that we have become too greedy and materialistic, 2/3 of Americans are fat and it's their fault and they'll suffer the consequences if they don't bother to exercise and eat right, and some illegal immigrants are bad (while others are hardworking decent folk, though he mostly focuses on the drug cartels and gangs), and we need to reconnect with our history and foundations of our country, I disagree that teaching the Bible in schools and making everyone a Christian will do the trick. I disagree that non-religious folk are immoral, and that Christian folk are automatically more moral than the rest. There are many moral non Christians, and many immoral Christians. I think that homosexuality, bisexuality and the "transgender sexuality" (which, by the way, Mr. Norris, isn't a sexual orientation. It's a gender identity) as well as non-nuclear families, are not part of the problem. There are many decent, moral people who have come from alternative families and "broken homes." And parents who choose to work can also be good, active parents. The Bible is not the answer for everyone. Kudos to you if it's your answer, but the Bible isn't the Law. I, for one, am glad the Bible isn't taught in public schools, and I think that students should be able to worship individually, but no religion should be institutionalized into school curriculum. The country isn't made up of just Christians.

Oh, and the kid who got an F on the evolution paper didn't follow the instructions. If the teacher wanted a paper on each students believes in evolution vs. creationism, she would have asked for it. She asked for a paper on evolution. The kid, who doesn't believe in evolution, wrote it on creationism instead. Great that a 10 year old kid knows what he was taught at church, but if a teacher asked for a paper on Islam, would you write about Christianity instead? You always stand to benefit from learning about something different from your own beliefs. You can learn about something and not believe it. I agree with the scientific community that evolution is the likely answer to how we came to be, and I do not think we are made in God's image. We are more than glorified apes because we have developed the power to be, not because someone made us better than apes.

Also, eat right and exercise. Chuck Norris says so. It's not that hard.

Anyway, a good read, even if you disagree with a lot of it, like I do. It's always fun to stretch your comfort zone, and it's a pretty easy read too.

Jealousy Will Drive You Mad!

There are very few things that make me jealous. I get jealous when I see someone flirt with someone I flirt with. Only briefly and I usually laugh at myself for it. I get jealous when someone sighs happily. I love being able to sigh contentedly, and I wish I could all the time.

The richest person can walk by with all their possessions, or the happiest person can walk by with all the things that enrich their life, or the most beautiful, successful person be hot and awesome, and I don't feel a twinge of envy. It'd be nice, but I don't need it. Congratulations Rich Dude, you have money. Congrats Happy Dude, you're happy. Congratulations Pretty, Awesome Dude, you're pretty awesome. I will be all those things to my hearts content someday.

What really makes me green, though, the thing that stirs up all sorts of feelings of longing, is when I see someone else sleeping.

I get so damn jealous.

I love naps. I love going to bed. I love waking up just so I can fall asleep again. I love dozing off in the sunlight. I love curling up with a blanket on the couch. I love stretching out in my bed.

And when I can't do that, and someone else can, I really, really want to be them.

I know, I know. I will be able to sleep 10 hours tonight, and I can even take a nap now, if'n I cared to. I know it's not rational, but jealousy isn't very rational in the first place, is it? I just love everything about sleeping, the falling asleep, the dreaming, the waking up and falling back asleep, the dozing, the waking up languorously, all of it, and I want to do it all the time.

There's a reason I wear sweatpants most of the time when I am home all day, and put blankets on all the time: so I can be warm just in case I want to take a nap. I even sit in the yellow chair and not on the couch, because the sun hits the yellow chair and I can sleep in the sunlight, on the off chance that I doze off while reading.

There are much more dangerous or sillier things I could be jealous of. I think I'll stick with this.

2,000 Calories

Today, I ate poorly.

I skipped breakfast. For lunch I had 2 falafel pitas, with 2 cups of tea.
At around 3, I had 5 jumbo cinnamon rolls.
And about 10 cups of tea.
That's it.
6 hours later, and I still can't think about eating.

I think I went over 2,000 calories though, considering how little I ate. Just really unhealthy calories. The pita bread wasn't even wheat.

This is the first time since May where I've overeaten an unhealthy food, such as cinnamon rolls. Thus, I will excuse myself (hell, I excused myself before I even opened the tube!) But tomorrow will by a raw food day, dammit! Beans and fruit and veggies. Back to basics. The stuff that doesn't make me feel like crap and gives me energy.

Brother and I were discussing my poor diet of the day, which led to the discovery that 2,000 calories, for him, Mr. Exercise, is a really strict diet. It's OK for me though as I am a "sedate female."

Irritating, but true. I am sedate. Ah willpower, why am I not using you?

PS: The cinnamon rolls were totally worth it, though.

I see him there and I feel pity

Today I watched Hamlet 2. It was pretty funny, but mostly I just felt bad for the guy. (I give it 3 out of 5 stars. Not great, but far from bad). It just reminded me how shitty some lives and places can be.

Granted, I don't like when people say things like 'oh, your life is so tragic. It must suck to be you," (they say it much more tactfully, but you know what they mean). One person once told me that they were glad they weren't me. I wanted to punch him. Granted we were only 9 and he wasn't me nor was I him, but that was a blow. Pity is the worst feeling in the world.

My opinion: if you feel pity for someone, keep it to yourself. Give them sympathy and support, but don't tell them that you pity them. It's like someone saying there is no possible way they'd ever want to be you. And no one's life sucks that much.

The guy in the movie had a really shitty time during the movie, but his life could have been a lot worse. Life is always worth living unless you are no longer willing or able to try to live it. We are all extremely fortunate to have life and to have as good of a life as we have.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox, now. : )

Do you hear the people sing?

My mom is an unfortunate driver. Since I've been alive, she has received 3 tickets. All three times, I have been there. The first time, Mom, 3 cousins and I were returning to Grandpa's farm from picking strawberries. Apparently she crossed over the center line, though she doesn't remember doing so. In any case, the rest of the day and fairly frequently since then, we sang "Mom got a ticket! Mom got a ticket!" and make siren noises. Embarassing for her, especially since everyone in the family knows of the incident and it is now a part of family history.

The second time, it was my 10th or 11th birthday. We were returning from seeing a movie or going out to eat or some such thing. In the van was Mom, myself and 4 of my bffs in 4th grade. She didn't see the reduced speed sign in the construction zone, and the fines double in construction zones. However, there was no good-natured teasing or singing this time. Nope, one of my bffs had NEVER been pulled over before. She ended up crying because she was so scared. Little anxious, eh? Two of the others tried to be bad-ass and flirt with the cop and said things that would get them in trouble. Not a good night for Mommy dear.

The third time was today. Mom, Brother and I were at the Mill City Museum, and underestimated how long we'd been there. When I went to put more coins in the meter, we already had a ticket. After getting over the exhoribant cost of being 15 minutes late to the meter ($42!! Why is it so high?), there was another chorus of "Mom Got a Ticket" complete with siren noises. Although it's not really entirely her fault that she got a ticket. I could have been more on top of time (although I did tell her when we had 15 minutes left, and she spent 20 minutes playing with the water tables in the kids area and even more time in the gift shop).

Mom laments the fact that she cannot get away with getting a ticket because there's always a car full of kids (though 2 of her own grown kids is hardly a carfull). She wonders why she can't get tickets when she's alone. I think carfulls of kids are distracting.

If wishes were fishes, I'd be dead from mercury poisoning

I finished Dubliners by James Joyce today. Not so great, but not "wtf"-worthy. I think if I had notes or an English professor to guide me through it, I could have appreciated it. In all, it was a rather dull read which I didn't really understand. I will try again later with another book of his. Hopefully I will appreciate it more. For now though, it's on to Don Quixote, which I hear is a menace. We shall see though. I do enjoy adventures.

I enjoy adventures, but not enough to go on my own. I also enjoy comfort. I would like to walk somewhere far away though. I would like to walk to the ocean (either one), I think. Maybe in Maine, I haven't been there before. Or Seattle, maybe. Or maybe take a tour of the outline of the US, you know, go all the way around the borders/coastlines? I don't know anyone crazy enough to go with me. At least, anyone who I would want to go with who is crazy enough to go with me. I'm sure there are lots of crazy beatniks or hippies out there who would go with me, but I don't want to go with a random crazy beatnik. I don't want to go by myself. That's dangerous.

I do wish I had the effort to get out more though. I guess I just don't wish it enough. I need a buddy to make me accountable who will go do random obscure slightly insane things with me. Like walk to Gooseberry Falls. Maybe next summer. : )

Fairy Tales

Book reviews? Ok.

Faulker: The Sound and the Fury: WTF!? I hated it. It makes no sense until the very end when it makes a teensy tiny bit of sense. Or rather, I figured out 1 thing that they were talking about. I put 1 puzzle together, out of dozens of puzzles the book presented. Read it for the sake of having read it, but WTF, Faulker, W. T. F.

Lackey: The 500 Kindoms Series: I've only read 2 so far, but they're cute books! They're fairy tale parodies of sorts, but for grown ups. There are some juicy sex scenes, but they are far too short and infrequent. It's almost as if she wants to be a smut writer, but isn't quite willing to stake her good reputation on it. She brings a new dimension to fantasy writer though. The sex scenes are very woman-centric. Sex scenes aside, the books are very cute and intelligent. I call them cute because they are fairy tales and people end up happily ever after and they are far from dark, but they're very witty as well.

Dragonlance series: Good as always. (Library complaint: Get the 3rd book! That complaint pretty much applies to almost every fantasy trilogy the library owns. Or partially owns. I don't want to buy 1/3 of a trilogy, so why did you only buy 2/3? Good lord. [I am exagerating, but it's true in some cases]) Dragonlance, a young adult favorite of mine, has bitten me again. I love this series. It adds a bit of dimension to the good vs. evil battles which are typical of fantasy. Good can be just a bad as evil and evil isn't usually that bad. Oh, and most of the Bad Guys aren't ugly and the Good Guys aren't always beautiful. Which is refreshing. A lot of the fantasy genre is too simple. There has been some depth added to it, usually in the good books, but there are some pieces of crap out there which are just cliches that have been puked out by someone's imagination.

Verne: Journey to the Centre of the Earth. I liked it overall. Very different from the movie. In some ways, I liked the book better and in other ways I liked the movie better. I was about 3/4 finished with the book when I realized they weren't going to meet any people in the centre of the Earth like they did in the movie. It is a good adventure story for people who can appreciate education and knowledge. It's also a very easy read.

Currently Reading: Dubliners by James Joyce